


Something Desired

by Coldwaughter



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-29
Updated: 2016-11-29
Packaged: 2018-09-03 02:42:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8693242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coldwaughter/pseuds/Coldwaughter
Summary: Sometimes the thing you want most is something that you can get, but only for the briefest of moments.





	

It is perhaps the cruellest thing in the world to be given something knowing that it is only temporary, especially something that you have wanted so much for so long. You spend your days counting the seconds, wondering if it was all going to vanish this minute or the next. Would it be in a year? Ten? There are no ways to know and it is the thing that eats away at your heart making every moment that you have that thing feel like borrowed time. 

Oswald had always known that his love life would be an unhappy one, if one would ever exist at all for him. Nobody ever caught his eye and gave him sparks when their hands brushed his. Touch was more commonly associated with pain or having to rub that bit of skin until it felt right again and wasn’t crawling like bugs were living under his skin. His world never narrowed down to a particular point of focus on a person and he was okay with that. Questions and awkward encounters could always be brushed over and it wasn’t as if people he had been forced to spend time with thought of him as normal to begin with anyway. To many he was just that guy who spoke weirdly but not as weird as his mother. 

It all started out with him wanting a friend. Someone whom he could trust unconditionally and who would do the same for him. He had the people that worked for Fish Mooney and the boss herself, but he didn’t trust them further than he could throw them. The second that they got the chance they would stab him in the back and leave him to crawl back home to his mother, body broken and bleeding, just to make a show of it all. They were useful and were nothing more than pawns in the long game he was playing and that was how they would stay. Then Jim Gordon arrived on the scene and things started to look up finally. There was no heat, no world shattering but some things started to make sense; prospects and future plans were appearing in front of him on a silver platter. Things were good, until they weren’t anymore. Oswald hadn’t dared to invest himself too much in this, knowing of the likelihood that this entanglement would be temporary, especially since Jim was so keen on the law and working for the GCPD and just the GCPD. 

After that ambition took over; he wanted to make his mother proud, show everyone that fought against him that the ‘poncy Romanian mother’s boy’ could make it and be better than they ever could be. Oswald wanted the world to see him there. King of Gotham in a way that Fish or Falcone could never be. It was his driving force, his motivator when everything else in the world seemed to want him to stop and to just give up. He knew it wasn’t everything he truly wanted, especially when family and that fascination with feeling the lighting pleasure-pain that he never had lingered in his mind night after night, and his home always seemed so cold even with the fire on at night. 

During his first meeting with Edward Nygma he was still caught up in the spell that Jim had cast over him, drawing him in like a fish caught on a hook and drowning him. His thoughts drifted to the tall man who had told him a riddle with such glee. It should have been clear that Oswald didn’t value his attention; anyone that ignored the idea of personal space so crudely shouldn’t have also been so intriguing. The second meeting was under less than ideal circumstances and he didn’t get a chance to properly take in the sight of Nygma before him, now less goofy and cartoonish. 

That meeting sent his entire life into a spiral that he couldn’t recover from even if he wanted to. There may have been no odd feelings, no lightning with Ed’s touch but the offer he made was something that he couldn’t help but think about. The chance to take out punishment on someone for everything that happened, to do it slowly while Ed looked on caught his interest. Just thinking back on that moment made him stand up a bit taller. Someone out there saw him for him.. 

And wasn’t that what he had wanted all along? To find someone that didn’t just see him as someone. Oswald instantly started counting automatically, wondering if it would be one month or more before the cracks began to show and this very thing that he wanted more than anything in the world would be snatched away from him like it meant nothing. Time waits for no man, no being could withstand its power. Until measured it’s not known, yet how people miss it when it has flown. 

After he woke up in Ed’s room, with the man’s pyjamas on and with his sheets tangled in his legs, Oswald knew that was it for him. He may not have had that flame straight away, there were no fireworks and bright intense flashes but there was definitely a spark growing and Nygma was adding more kindling to the fire. There was no doubt about it, getting so close to him and drawing him back out of his shell in the most perfect way possible. There was a reason starting to kill again felt so good, better than it ever had before and that reason was entirely Edward Nygma.


End file.
